Chapter 2. Back to Natural: Your Bleed Cycle

We all have dreaded our bleed, aka period, at some point in our lives. Many of us still do. Hell, I do! But “that dread” isn’t your natural feelings towards your menstrual cycle- it’s the patriarchy’s, capitalism’s, society’s fucking dread. They demonize the symptoms by diagnosis and prescribing medicine, they shame the smell and the fact that we bleed by telling us to douche (which is NOT healthy for you or your cooch), and they undermine the significance of having a bleed and the pains magnified from living a man’s cycle as a womben by punishing people who bleed, not giving time to rest during bleeding, and treating it as a nuisance and burden. Your bleed is not. Bleeding is a natural part of being a womben. It comes with the body, the literal territory. It’s not easy and it is nature.

So how do we go back to being one with our bleed? We replace one unnatural thing and practice after another with what is natural and of nature. Here are my top 5 replacements to get back to natural with your bleed cycle:

1. Reusable period undies

Fucking game changer. I test drove with these reusable undies. They’re great as training wheels to get used to the feel of reusable period undies and how to take care of them. At a more affordable price, they’re decent for lighter, spotty, just-starting or just-ending days of your bleed.

Aisle is the brand I use for my heavy days. They’re awesome for all days. I have the BOOST boxers which are my favorite that you can buy boosters for said heavy days(!!!), BASE shorty, and mini pads (which don’t work for me but are ofc an excellent option for the right womben).

2. Rechargeable lighter (+ candles)

I covered this in The Spiritual Starter Kit article and I can’t reiterate it enough: a rechargeable lighter and candles of your choice are a simple and deeply alchemical way to honor your bleed. Whether it’s lighting them as soon as you notice you’re spotting or when you’re cramping like newly kicked testicles on your heaviest day, the act of choosing which candle(s) to light, igniting that lighter, and watching the flame birth and glow grounds you in the sacred experience of bleeding.

3. The void bedsheets

What do I mean by “the void”? The void is that menstrual, new moon (when the moon is “empty”), death, end, crone phase all womben enter and exit from. The void is where we go to sleep, rest, die, and are reborn from.

I currently have 3 sets: white, olive green, and deep blue. The deep blue is my bleed era. every time I look at that blue, it inspires from me sleepiness, calm, and a nice cool but enveloping hug- the exact kind of hug I need when I’m having hot flashes. (The other sheets are for my follicular- spring/ovulation-summer and luteal-fall phases.)

I LOVED my nestwell brand bedsheets but alas, all good things I am totally into, they are discontinued. Whomp whomp. I suggest to be “hyper”vigilant on looking at the material of the bedsheets you’re shopping for — 100% cotton, silk, organic bamboo, etc. Try to steer clear from polyester, nylon, spandex materials, etc that have forever chemicals (here’s one more site for info on forever chemicals or PFAS) in them. Yes, that does mean spending more money on higher quality material, and yes, it is worth it. Yes, it is okay if you don’t want to or can’t right now, and yes, your best is always enough.

4. Baggy ass clothes

I am still building my pms/period clothing basket. I have select sweats, t shirts, dresses, and sweaters that are my go-to when I start to bloat and feel like Violet from Willie Wonka when she eats that full-meal gum. I have clothes sizes that range from M-XL because comfort is always my priority, especially during bleed season. During stressful bleeds (that start from the first day of my new cycle to the day I bleed), my PMDD comes back like ghost of Christmas past to remind me: “hey, you had a pretty stressful af last 3.5 weeks since your last period. Just fyi” and that I need that extra physical, social, clothing space to unload it all and breathe deeply again.

5. Comfort food

This subtitle is misleading. It’s not only our favorite teas, comfort carbs, and snuggle sweets that go with you into the void- those are a given. What we need to remember to bring with us is our gentleness and non-judgment of what makes us feel better, especially the food we binge on, the shows and music we’re drawn to, and the way we hibernate in the void during our bleed.

We can’t be comfortable if we’re feeling judged and treated roughly, right? So how could comfort food be comfort food if we’re judging it and shaming ourselves for eating them? Let comfort food be comfort food by looking at it and ourselves with the lens of gentleness and non-judgment.

Actually, it’s only when we are gentle and nonjudgmental towards how we are during our bleeds now can there be opportunity for teeny tiny, incremental, and incredibly important changes to our bleeds. Going back to natural bleeding is not a bulldozing event, it is slow, minute and “mistake” ridden effort, over and over again, during each cycle and its four phases, until you look back and see the lush naturalness around you. You’ll feel the change in you as you stay gentle with and nonjudgmental of yourself and your choices and decisions (like eating another chocolate donut because that bitch is going to stay fresh for so long).

Everything I shared has the element of building on- test items and practices out, only buy one or two things to try, there’s built in fails and successes, keep what works and toss what doesn’t for you- and ofc do your own research because what works for me may not exactly work for you but another version of it might be your perfect fit! It needs you to find it. It is with time and doing that homes are built, connections are made, routines emerge, and habits are fortified. It is worth it. So take your time, have fun, and happy coming back to the nature of your unique bleed cycle.

With optimism and joy,

Sandy